A reflex to self-preserve

My instinct to self-preserve
Overrides my vulnerability,
A reflex parallel
Now to the norms of society.

If openness was received as it is,
An adoration of beauty
A desire to connect truly
And not a shrapnel of weakness
to be targeted,
I’d open my heart
To simply let you walk in.
But there’s no escaping
This need to be guarded,
A reality reciprocated.

I sit behind this moat
Archers aiming and ready
To immediately impale any
That tries to walk in
And disrupt my harmony.

Still…
I remain optimistic,
Guarded but welcoming.
The gems of love stockpiles
In the belly of my treasury
Waiting to be emptied.

So I’ll try my best,
I promise I will.
To fight my reflexes
And try to let you further in,
Past the surface
Into the deep end.
Just respect the flow of the stream
And there will be pooled clouds
For you to swim.