The Unwilling Wanderer

Being with you
Is the closest to home
My heart has ever been.
Now it wanders
Searching for connection
Sorting through the jaded

My wandering heart
With its wondering love
On a hopeful journey
On the way to its sanctuary
With none ahead to speak of
Only the memories of ghosts past

Unwillingly a rolling stone
My mind says I’m ready
But my heart stands behind its moat
Seeing something that maybe I don’t
When my body says that this is home
Is it protecting me from myself
Or an entrapment keeping me alone?

Still
I have some blame in this
And accept what It could mean
Temporary tethered connections
Swimming diluted pools of love
Saturated with pain and traumas…

I’ve stopped the search
But I’ll keep my heart open
Behind a wall with a sniper
But if love comes again
I’ll welcome it in.

Hopefully I’ll recognize it.

I’ve learned some steps to the dance
Replaying my practices
Maybe this time with my past lessons
I can play the game and win
Or maybe it will all turn out to be a fool’s errand,
The beautiful game of life
We’ll see when we get to the end.